Thriving after Surviving. Is it even possible I wondered? Can someone love me or were the prior partners, while toxic, right?
Maybe my parents were right, maybe I was never going to be good enough.
The abusers have been long gone and while there are many bouts of calm, without warning, the inner fears that ran deep and long, can be triggered by a word in a song, a smell, a favorite food or beverage. Once triggered, the trauma brain will send an eruption of fear and anxiety rippling through you. It will send your mind racing and scrambling for clues, and warnings of anything askew.
It can be exhausting and disorienting. I take comfort in the days I have less of that chatter and more of the peaceful hum of nothingness.
After so many years of living in chaos, it has taken time to adjust to the quiet and also learn to lean and embrace that and my alone time, trusting that I will not be abandoned by anyone again, including myself.
And as I find myself being loved in a healthy way...
... I have had moments of questioning myself and fearing that this new love is gonna be a trap too because, “I’m too much”, and, “everyone I love leaves or hurts me in some way”, or will I sabotage and run before they get a chance.
That’s how it always was before. It’s all I’ve known.
It’s as if I had been reprogrammed.
And I was ... but I was also was robbed!
•Robbed of my identity.
•Robbed of my ability to feel safe.
•Robbed of my ability to trust myself & others.
•Robbed of my ability to feel loveable.
•Robbed of my ability to feel worthy of connection.
Abuse rewired my brain. But without that knowledge, I had become so lost and uncertain if I was all those horrible things that my abusers had told me. I began to believe it as truth.
And while I am no where near where I was a year or two years ago, I am healing and feeling whole again.
I still have days & situations where I am triggered and have to soothe my inner beliefs, compassionately honoring them for the beautiful messages they are. I also have a knowing that they will pass, and I am safe, loved, and have connection.
Yes, healing is painful .. but also freeing.
•Freeing of the darkness.
•Freeing of the hopelessness.
•Freeing of the endless stream of fear and anxiety.
•Freeing of the nights of crying yourself to sleep.
•Freeing of numbing out and shutting down.
•Freeing of the uncertainty and chaos.
I’m so glad I found all the tools I did and built a bridge that no one but myself can burn down or destroy.
My beliefs are the bridge .. and no one can ever take that away from me again.
And as long as my beliefs are empowered, my experiences will be as well.
No longer a princess needing rescued.
I’m a Queen of my Castle who’s figured out the chess game and realizing I had the power all along to check-mate the opponent’s.
The secret is:
And love doesn’t hurt .... ever!
•Be enough for you first. Prioritize YOU!
•Be patient and persistent.
•Be as relentless with your healing as you were placating the angry beast.
Healing happens from the inside out.
No one can shift that but me.
I hold the keys to my Castle.
What does your castle and dream life look like?
Have you been feeling like a Queen trapped in a princesses body?
What would your dream life feel like? It’s ok to dream, but, it’s not ok to think it’s not possible.
Because as Queens, we don’t need to believe in fairytale endings and wait for one, we just make it happen... Queens reign!
And we do it with grace and gratitude.
And for the King‘s out there...the same rules as above applies for you. Even more so in that you too, can create your castle and reign with grace and gratitude.
But just as Queens experience, the lasting imprints of toxic abuse can be a source of struggle for you too. Try to be kind in the aftermath with your self talk and make sure you are honoring all your emotions.
It is 100% ok and actually beneficial to cry. It releases the negative charge of emotions and is also a release valve to reduce mental and physical breakdowns. So let the tears rain and then you will reign too!
CONNECT WITH ME:
Please connect with me to obtain more information.
@TheDivineAlignmentSage (Mindset Mastery)
@HurtNoMoreHealer (Narcissistic Abuse Help)
@WellnessWithCandice (Wellness & Lifestyle)
Reach out to me and together we will RESET YOUR GROOVE! Write a new story, step out of the pain, let go and love you through your self-care as you create full body wellness!
Who is The Divine Alignment Sage aka Coach Candice?
A tenacious, passionate, empathetic, and creative soul who is on a mission to bring healing to humanity by teaching the motto, "Be Love", to create a happier, blissful world by helping souls align to their true purpose and THRIVE.
She overcame limiting beliefs, codependency, lifelong traumas and loss, self-abuse, addictions, autoimmune illnesses, chronic pain/fibromyalgia and beat anxiety and depression when she let go of the ego and LOVED herself unconditionally.
This radical approach saved her life and was all through daily acts of kindness and radical self-love through intentional self-care and living an aligned life and fully present in the moment and loving herself unconditionally that helped her achieve alignment and recover from trauma.
*Founder & Owner of EmBodyE Wellness, Zen Hikes & Nature Adventures
*#BeLove Movement Pioneer
*Self-Love Alchemy Expert™️
*Certified Master Health/Life & Mindset Transformation Expert
*Women’s Empowerment Coach
*Life Skills Competency Educator
*Certified Medical Assistant
*Creator and Host of the RESET YOUR GROOVE PODCAST SHOW
RESET YOUR GROOVE PODCAST SHOW-Write A New Story:
Mind Diet, Balanced Bliss, and Kick Sugar Cravings, PTSD & Trauma Recovery Talks/Workshops
*Founder of Harmony For Humanity Nonprofit & *22HaloProject.org (coming 2021)
*Creator of the:
5 to THRIVE, Mind Diet Program, 8 Self-Love Gateways, 7 Steps to Now is Formula, 5 to Feel Free Formula, 12 Steps to Freedom Addiction & Codependency, Balanced Bliss
*Global Like Skills Ambassador
Global Presence Life Skills Ambassador @ Parenting 2.0 https://www.parenting2pt0.org/the-global-presence/ambassadors/