From Blue To Feeling Brand New: How To Overcome Post-Holiday Blues Using The 5 Pillars of THRIVE!
Updated: Jan 3, 2021
Did you have a holiday that left you feeling blue and bloated, feeling like you were just over the entire holiday and 2020?
Read on for several valuable tools to help you begin to banish the blues and feel brand new!
Are you ready for a late gift and incredible free value to ring in the New Year? I have a an incredible gift for you.
If you want to know how to banish the post holiday blues and bloat, read on for more valuable tools and resources to help you align and THRIVE as the world gets ready to close out 2020 and usher in 2021!
Holidays are traditionally a time for gathering with family and friends, and even in the best of times that can be stressful and draining.
However for many, the holidays are a great source of feeling blue, alone and questioning the who, what and why of their life.
Then to add in the restrictions and uncertainty of this past year of 2020, and the limits upon our society for gatherings, the deep divide from the political fallout is a lot. Now add in the chaos that ensued amongst family, friends, acquaintances, coworkers and absolute strangers, sitting in judgment of different views and beliefs and even actions, it has moved this all up to a level 5 stress factor to say it politely.
This magnitude of stressful experiences would generate a multitude of stress responses from fight, to flight, and or freeze for anyone.
Depending on how you react to stress, is what would determine what state you may find yourself in under the weight of all this chaos.
For many, who are in a state of fight or flight, the feeling of anxious wondering of what the BLEEP is in store for 2021 Is dominating their focus.
For others the opposite stress reaction to all of this is being in a state of depression or freeze mode.
And if you are like me, you win the golden ticket of having the worst experience of wanting to run & fight, but being frozen in fear of rejection if you do the wrong thing. This Is the epitome of how trauma rewires the amygdala in the brain which is part of the survival response in the brain.
To compound all of this at the holidays, is when these stresses have to be faced alone witho family and friends.
And then, what if you do not have the tools to combat this struggle? Rates of depression elevate, as do rates of divorce, domestic violence, and suicide and homicides.
Humans are social beings, we do not do well when faced with extreme isolation.
This is why at the holidays combined with the added stress of the current events of the world, has created a strain on the human psyche. In my opinion, this compounds both anxiety and depression under the best of circumstances, especially for those who are trauma survivors.
And this is where attention needs to be focused in order to reduce the rates of mental illness and broken families, parental alienation and suicide/homicide that comes from that dynamic. But that is an entirely other blog to be written about for another day.
This article can however, begin to aid the transition into the new year for everyone, because regardless of your past history, 2020 had been a very traumatic experience globally for humanity.
No one has escaped the warp speed, eye's wide open effect of the reality of being isolated, how lost humanity had gotten and how badly so many things in society needed to change. Talk about ripping off the band-aid! OUCH!
I’m awake, are You?
As I have noticed on trends across social media this year, many are facing these dynamic changes alone.
Whether is from the prior or more recent alienation of family, friends, uprooted daily routines, being thrown into uncertainty of income, losing housing, facing health challenges, and now the loss of love, safety and belonging from their tribe, things are tough right now for many.
It is a lonely and dark place to be.
Whispers of relief bring in the abuse of substances self-abuse, addictions to sex, food, money and gaming addictions, to create the feel good chemicals in the brain. This creates a viscious cycle, which can cause more shame and guilt and increasing suicidal ideations. Now, please understand, the behavior exhibited is not a way to cause pain, but to end pain and get back into a feeling of bliss as quickly as possible.
I have been in that dark place and I wanted to write this article to help others in their shift out of the pain of ego to heart centered feels.
I have went from feeling BLUE to BRAND NEW using the tools I share and I am confident they will provide the same upgrade for you as well.
I wrote this poetic flow in an effort to transmute the negative feelings and move from ego to heart.
As I teach in my book, ego creates negative energy and that leads to depression and anxiety.
Where the heart centered feels elevate and expand your energy and will leave you feeling brand new!
I hope this will help you to find peace and understanding that others do not mean to cause pain, they are struggling to love themselves and find their way too.
HOLIDAY SOLO YOLO
I spent Christmas alone,
No calls from family on my phone,
No cuddles, laughter or love shown.
This is torture for the soul, feeling unwanted and being left all alone.
Makes me question my life and how
Tracks of my story are being thrown.
I fear many have turned into a narcissistic drone,
In society, I see a manipulative and controlling undertone,
As it seems everyone is in the ‘ME ME ME 1st, screw you zone’,
Clearly into emotionally balanced adults they have not yet grown,
By lack of simple kindness or extension of the forgiveness stone,
It’s generations of trauma, exhibited by manners from the coop of humanity flown,
It’s sad to feel and see the black empty eyes of humanity’s crone.
And yet I’m not the only one who has spent the holidays alone.
But I will sit here and write a poetic flow transmuting it on my phone.
And then share it with the world, as no one should suffer,
especially on holidays, left feeling unwanted, unloved, unworthy & alone.
~Candice J. Frazier, Author
While I have endured a lot, I know in my heart and soul, it all had a bigger purpose than me. it was so I could help others too.
When I was a very young girl, I had a dream of being the black sheep in a lake of water, who was surrounded by white sheep for as far as the eye could see, there was no beginning and no end, just the entire vision filled with me surrounded by the white sheep and the silent awareness that I would someday complete the mission of being the leader that showed the flock the way home.
When things in my life have gotten difficult, especially when I battled the suicidal thoughts, I would see that dream flash in my mind's eye, like a reminder of why I must keep going.
As this 2020 year unfolded and my connection to self grew, so did my vision for my path and how I would help humanity find unity and #BeLove and therefore create #harmonyforhumanity.
This is when that black sheep dream came into play, and turned into everything it has as I began laying the foundation for this movement.
It all became clear why I was always feeling different and why I had always wanted to help others.
As this year had unfolded I have been compiling all the tools for that movement.
FIVE PILLARS TO THRIVE in summary:
Pillar ONE: The Art of Acceptance: Awareness
Everything is happening FOR me to provide awareness of where my mind is at.
Everything that is happening is being created from the mind.
Like many of you, I have watched in disbelief at the events of 2020 as they have unfolded.
At the beginning of everything, I thought it was going to pass quickly. When it continued into the summer months, I found myself falling into old bad habits of coping and would let fear, lack and uncertainty dominate my thoughts.
Like a hamster on the wheel and no where to go, I would ruminate on things that were creating a sense of being unwanted, rejected, not good enough, unlovable and if I was even meant to be here in this earthly existence any longer.
The more I gave this thought process energy, the more things that I was experiencing to keep me frustrated, stuck and feeling rejected, angry and in compare and despair would keep appearing.
It was clear after some research that I was still going through a soul transformation unlike anything I had ever experienced before.
I was still the throes of the dark night of my soul, despite all the efforts to overcome that old story, it was still clearly intact.
Just when I thought I had completed that journey, SURPRISE! LUCY I AM HOME! Claimed my EGO!
Living in ego, is a negative and toxic influence.
While it is there to keep us safe, it often cripples us and has the potential to annihilate anyone in its way.
I had to get real with myself, and really find my truth and courageously own it and stop letting my ego bully me.
Luckily for me, I was well into my transformation journey and had a great number of resources and support to guide me. And I have since flipped it to the perspective of this was just a 'Pop Quiz' to see if I was paying attention and was done learning old lessons.
I like to think of it as more chances to refine myself and not allow outside experiences to define me or restrict/ control my happiness.
Pillar TWO: Art of Letting Go
Letting go of what does not feel good opens up the space for more contrast of clarity to refine what WOULD feel better.
Being in gratitude will expedite this shift and increase the flow of negative to more rapidly shift out of your experience.
While it was hard to let go of the ways of being that I had known, I knew somethings HAD to change if I were to break this negative pattern of toxic relationships with self and others.
At first, I fought it, I was being stripped of who I had created to keep me safe. I still had some masks I had used to hide behind that needed to be let go of. I had some growing up left to do, and the *transformation mantra I had said at the beginning of my no fear, self-love pioneer journey, began to be on repeat in my ear.
*I am ready to make changes in my life that are for my highest good.
In that shift, I began to see that rejection was divine protection of experiences that were NOT for my highest good, even if it did not feel like protection.
I had made a promise to accept the flow of life, and allow what was not for me to stay behind, transforming in its own divine time.
In accepting that I was being stripped of the remaining illusions of who I was, opened the path for deeper awareness and an opportunity to release the need for the outer validation and control of things outside my own being, (beliefs, habits, behaviors').
While those actions in the past had once been a comfort to me, I began to to see how it was triggering me, keeping me stuck in the patterns and the toxic tie of trauma bonds, low self esteem and poor boundaries.
Pillar THREE; The Art of Self-Awareness
Happy is feeling that we can not control with beliefs. Happy is a feeling that we choose, and then our experiences will confirm if we indeed feel positive emotions or negative ones.
Once I understood the complexities of trauma and beliefs, habits and addictive behaviors and how that binds us to negative influences,
I became more open to a new way of doing things.
I accepted that there was a positive intention of those difficult experiences that made me feel lost, used, and full of worry.
The positive intention was to send me on the path to seeking deeper connection to the truth of my existence, write a new story and learn to love myself unconditionally.
I began to get curious of the WHY everything was happening FOR me, not to me.
Pillar FOUR: The Art of Empowered Thinking
What I put out is what I get back.
I was grateful for each experience to provide new perspectives and allow me to grow personally and spiritually and connect to myself in energy of love and forgiveness.
In curiosity, I am an empowered thinker coming from my heart feels energy, whereas being in judgement, that is being in ego feels energy and the victim mode.
That latter state of being - judging - is toxic, negative energy.
While being curious is born from the energy of LOVE.
When you look through the eyes of love, you see that we are all in state of creating experiences that are either a cry for love OR an act of love.
With the awareness that we are all divine, the ease of insults will shift to a loving tone, and trusting in who you are and why you are.
There are NO mistakes in who we are in this existence, only the tracks of misdirected beliefs that have been incorrectly thrown in your imprint of identity.
Imprints in the brain called neural pathways, the message transmitter's, can be shifted and new tracks of belief can be placed to rewrite the old story of beliefs.
That is where my life and my purpose became very CLEAR. BE LOVE.
Remember that dream about being the black sheep? I feel that I had those difficult experiences as a way to help me understand and empathize with others struggles.
I think the mission of teaching us how to love ourselves, apart from the similarities of the pack is what that dream was also telling me.
This is where the final one of the 5 Pillars comes into play and is woven into every pillar.
This movement is one of love, and with the act of love though self care and kindness, you will find it is a powerful healing tool.
This approach is universal and is very transformative in the 5 big areas of our life, Love, Money, Career, Health, and That Which is Greater (your spiritual connection to your creator).
Everything we do, when it comes from the heart feels, is beautiful.
It conveys the message of care for self and the world you live in. That is the heart of LOVE and how we create harmony for humanity.
Pillar FIVE; The Art of Self-Love
How you love you, is how you will show up to love others.
What you magnetize, is what you materialize.
How to go from #FeelingBlue to
We hold our happiness hostage when we place the control of that the hands of others, but we also take up the space for things to come into our experience that can make us feel happy.
So we must let go of the WHY, release the control, release negative influences and shift focus to HOW.
When we open space, then we can learn and implement the tools necessary to create a life you can be happy in and THRIVE!
That is what the Five Pillars of THRIVE help you do!
DO NOT HOLD YOUR HAPPINESS HOSTAGE!
LIBERATE IT WITH SELF LOVE!
#CreateYourOwnHappy #NamasteAway #THRIVE #5toThrive
KEY POINTS of BLUE TO BRAND NEW:
We can not save people, but we can love them, and even more powerfully when we focus on our own flow, and get out of others undertow.
As we move forward, it is ok to allow others to remain where they are. See through curious eyes, release judgement, as this is where transformation and inner peace lies.
Just as we are capable of growing into our best self, trust that others are just as capable of doing so.
Release control to change them, accept that they are still in the learning mode and that is their journey to figure out.
(This was the hardest part of my codependency journey, being the Fawner, Fixer and Appeaser. I had the belief that others happiness had to come before mine in order to prove my love and loyalty, all the while neglecting to give this love and loyalty to my own inner being. My untruth of not having the right to need, be separate and still exist was creating the negative influence that kept me telling the victim story.)
It is time to LET GO of negative influences and uncover patterns of codependency, negative self talk and self-love deficit disorder to break the cycle of toxic relationships with others and self and LOVE unconditionally and THRIVE!🤍